Funny Quotes About Roulette

It’s time to post some funny quotes and jokes.

On one of the silly squad forums a poster wrote the following about a “profound” discovery.

“A profound discovery was made by Arthur, red and black are the ONLY even chance bets which are evenly distributed around the roulette wheel…”

"Sometimes (well, maybe mos tof th etiem I get so disgusted reading and writing on this message board …
but then I read a post by you or one of th eother intelligent people …and realize that maybe …just maybe we can reach a few more souls willing to LISTEN and LEARN…
Always enjoy your "this 'n that "
Because it is sooooooo LOGICAL " - JP
Funny Quote from the JP board.

I can understand that but why at GG he attacking you all the time, copy and paste same posts?

That quote about the profound discovery wasn’t from Mr. J.

That was from some other guy that I don’t know. I just came across it and thought that it was funny.
The quote after that one is from John Patrick. He’s always amusing.

(Regarding Mr. J. he’s a very strange fellow. He’s jealous of other people playing AP. As near as I can tell, he has a very serious gambling problem and has likely lost everything has owns as a result. I’ll just leave it at that.)

Here’s another funny quote form John Patrick on his meassageboard. In the coversaton, someone asked about the long run.

“I don’t get it …I relly truly don’t get it …this long drawn out discussion about “is there a long run”//////
Of course there is no long run as it PERTAINS TO YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU …as it pertains to each of your own persnal wins and losses…
what is so hard about grasping theconcept of what gmbling is all about …just because these math people claimm tht decisions shouldl be made based strictly on their 4 million computer run off resuilt ???
what is it tha you people don’t see about gamling…the long run is another pile of crap that they try to shove down your throat…”

Ah well they always discover something.
They also discovered that in 37 spins not all numbers will show up then for one year they were trying to make winning system from it.
I assume they consider it winning since for time working on it they were entertained and dint go to casino to lose.

Well, my fav roulette joke is summed up in this short video.

Funny James Bond Gambles In Casino

There is a TV show called “The Ultimate Gambler”, and he has some pretty good quotes that will split your sides.

But if I had to narrow it down, I’d say Jimmy “The Scot” Jordan’s claim that American roulette is easier to beat because the extra green number comes up twice as often.

I also vaguely remember something about a 75% edge somewhere, but that claimant was too unimportant to remember so I’m not sure who said it.

I have two friends who have gambling problems, explained the benefits of VB to one last
month who was amazed with the outcome when we went down the casino applying basics
learned from this site added with some luck on an easy wheel, just imagine to my suprise
when ten minutes later he starts to express what is best descibed as panic then randomly
put chips down before “no more bets” are called.

But the best was a comment from the same friend. I asked him after 15 years or so of gambling
if he believed in any system and he started spouting about a guranteed way of doubling the
bet which gives odds of 7 thousand to 1 or something like that, after laughing I asked why I
have never seen him use his Sure fire way and he replied:-

“it takes to long, I dont have the patience”.

No player that has a gambling problem can learn and apply VB.
Simply because(even if he will learn) as he will start making predictions and his favourite numbers will HIT , he will abandon the VB and he will start betting his favourite numbers…
You can t teach an old dog new tricks. And espesially one that has psychological problems.

Actually some of the german wheelwatchers are known to act as notorious gamblers. One of them would extend his betting sector to 9 or 12 numbers or almost 1/2 a wheel if he could get that many numbers down, if his normal betting didnt work. Cant remember his name but there are a actually few. El Hombre knows them all and shakes hand with them on a daily basis. Some of them will burn 50K and return later the same night with another 50K and win the first 50 K back and then some. Actually a typical gambler act. But still plays with an edge but completely uncontrolled.

In my opinion of course.

From the movie, “The Hangover”

Alan Garner: [looks at his manual] It says here we should work in teams. Who wants to be my spotter?
Doug Billings: I don’t think you should be doing too much gambling tonight, Alan.
Alan Garner: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It’s not gambling when you know you’re gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system.
Stu Price: It’s also illegal.
Alan Garner: It’s not illegal. It’s frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I’m pretty sure that’s illegal too.
Alan Garner: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, bin Laden.

Jimmy "The Scot" Jordan's claim that American roulette is easier to beat because the extra green number comes up twice as often.

I love it. Good one Davey!

[quote=“Davey-Jones, post:7, topic:696”]Well, my fav roulette joke is summed up in this short video.
There is a TV show called “The Ultimate Gambler”, and he has some pretty good quotes that will split your sides.[/quote]

yeep, I like it too!Really many hice jokes :smiley: advice for those who like to gambling and to laught :wink:

Advantage Players dont gamble

My fav ultimate gambler quote was something like this.

“My guide in (forget the country) is (forget the name) who has never played roulette before. So as a professional, I decide to take her under my wing. I start out by using my normal strategy and covering the layout with as many chips as I can.”

He was completely serious too, and went on to lose a few thousand quid while his guide played way less numbers and was winning. This made him tilt even more! The show is full of these gambling blunders by a so called professional. Funny to watch!

Louis Theroux did a program on gamblers in las vegas. Not advantage players just
high rollers and idiots. Its not so much the quotes but the suffering of a hapless gambler
which got me chuckling, you just see all his confidence of “gotta roll with the highs and lows”
ebb away just like the rivers tide as he chases his losses after being X thousands in profit.

“Profit”? I mean after keeping X amount safe for when the casino needed it back.

“I can understand that but why at GG he attacking you all the time, copy and paste same posts?” >>> Great question and a real simple answer sir. Because he does NOT answer questions. If he does not answer, I’ll continue to repeat it. Does that address the ‘same posts’ concern?

Once in a blue moon, Snowman does answer something and at that point, I dont ask it again. You have to think about this …(without being bias, good luck BTW), I find it suspicious/odd that ANY PERSON (not just Snowman), does not answer SIMPLE, non-tricky questions.



Forester has a nice forum.

Please understand that we don’t tolerate trolls here. If you’re craving attention then buy a puppy.